I Should Be Ashamed of Myself

I am embarrassed of myself.  Many of my issues in my youth came from the fact that I never experienced embarrassment. When dared to do something, I would simply do it. And most of the time I was never embarrassed. And seriously, in many cases, I really should have been.

At 35 years old, I am embarrassed by some behavior, thoughts, actions and speech that I find in myself. I have written before about what God is doing with me in terms of no longer believing that my version of Messianic Judaism is the right one. I used to believe that everyone should live like me. I used to believe that if people really understood the Bible they would see it the way I do. I have realized that there is so much more to agree on than disagree on and that a lot of the issues I thought were non-negotiable are actually negotiable. So, I have moved from the realization of these attitudes in my own life to a place of embarrassment. 

I am not saying there are not things that are right. Truth is truth and there are some issues of theology and belief that should be agreed upon for those who say they love the God of Israel and the Bible.  The Bible is the perfect, inspired, final authority of God. There is only One God. The One God is the creator and sustainer of everything that exists.  The One God exists in three: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God made promises to Israel (a.k.a., the Jewish people) that He will never break. Yeshua, the son, is both fully man and fully God. Yeshua physically died, in our place, for our sins. Yeshua physically rose from dead after three days. Yeshua is the judge of the living and the dead. Apart from believing in Yeshua there is no salvation only eternal judgement. Yeshua will return to earth for those who trust in Him. Jewish people are born a part of the family of God but need Yeshua to live with God into eternity. Gentiles join the family of God by believing in Yeshua and equally need Yeshua to live with God into eternity. These are non-negotiable.

Scripture is careful to point out what is clean and unclean, sin and not sin, holy and profane.  These issues are considered non-negotiable as well. There is so much more that is negotiable and can vary depending on interpretations.  How we interpret certain texts of the Bible should not keep us from treating people who believe the same non-negotiable’s as brothers and sisters.  Yet, we fight, argue, divide and become embarrassed by some family members who read scriptures with a different interpretation. If fact, we don’t even want to claim some people as family members at all because they are so embarrassing.  We don’t want people to think we are like them. We believe they give “us” a bad name because of their choices.  We believe that the people we are trying to reach with the message of Yeshua will not turn to Yeshua if they are exposed to these people.

The Truth is no one has cornered the market on Truth. I am embarrassed that it has taken me so long to not think so highly of myself and that other peoples interpretations failed to match mine in importance. I love Jews for Jesus, Chosen People Ministries and Jewish Voice Ministries International. I love the other Messianic congregations in Seattle, Beit Tikvah and Beit HaShofar and their Rabbis. I love the MJAA, and the UMJC. I love FFOZ and Lederer. I love Jewish believers who are a part of churches rather than Messianic synagogues. I love what makes us all different and yet all the same. I love the Church too. I love North Seattle Alliance Church, Cedar Park Church, Mars Hill Church and The City Church. I love Rick Warren, Andy Stanley, Jud Wilhite, Mark Driscoll, and Judah Smith. I love Catalyst and The Global Leadership Summit.  I love that I am a part of something so much bigger than myself. We are not in competition with other Messianic synagogues or churches in Seattle. We are all working toward the same goal: to see Yeshua glorified and worshiped the way He deserves in our City. God uses all kinds of crazy things, events, conversations and people to reach all kinds of people!

I want the Lord to take away my embarrassment and give me a sense of awe and joy because I belong to the family of God. The One God who created the heavens and the earth knows my name. He is not embarrassed of me or my brothers and sisters in the family of God. There is so much more at stake than me and my reputation. I am not the defender of Messianic Judaism, Christianity, the Church, Israel or the body of Messiah. It’s God's reputation that matters. And my embarrassment of my brothers and sisters in Yeshua only hurts His reputation and I want to make Him famous!

For more on this listen to my message called Connect from the series The Reality of Restoration.

Restoration has it's own app for smartphone's. Download it here for iOS, Droid, and Windows.