When God Makes You Sick

In April, on the last day of Passover, I went to the emergency room with tremendous pain in my abdomen. In all honesty, I thought it might just be the worst gas I had ever felt before or maybe just too much Matzah (#JewishProblems). At first the doctors were not even sure what was happening! After tests and imaging studies, I was diagnosed with Diverticulitis. WebMD describes Diverticulitis this way: 

Diverticulosis happens when pouches (diverticula) form in the wall of the colon. If these pouches get inflamed or infected, it is called diverticulitis. Diverticulitis can be very painful. Doctors aren't sure what causes diverticula in the colon (diverticulosis). But they think that a low-fiber diet may play a role. Without fiber to add bulk to the stool, the colon has to work harder than normal to push the stool forward. The pressure from this may cause pouches to form in weak spots along the colon. Doctors aren't sure what causes diverticulitis. Bacteria grow in the pouches, and this can lead to inflammation or infection.

It was painful. More painful than anything I have experienced in my life. As I was suffering late at night, before going to the hospital, I began throwing up from the pain. While sitting on the bathroom floor I found myself singing. What an odd experience to throw up and sing at the same time. Specifically two songs were set on repeat in my mind, The Love of God by Marty Goetz and Lord Have Mercy by Lecrae. The line in Lecrae’s song is “Lord have mercy and pity on your son from what I once was and what I have become.” 

While the diagnosis was clear, my doctors had no idea why this was happening to me because this condition seemed odd at my young age. With gas and excess Matzah ruled out, I had no clue either! It wasn't until the end of August that I experienced an unexpected revelation.  God made me sick. 

I know, it sounds weird and I don’t like saying it out loud or writing it down. I feel like to some degree it’s against my theology. Please don’t read this and believe that I am saying God causes people to get sick. That would miss the point of the lesson I learned. Some sickness is just sickness. Some sickness is opportunity for us to learn something. 

For a few weeks prior to this revelation each of the leaders at Restoration came to me and in different conversation and all essentially said the same thing to me: “You don’t listen. When you do listen you are only hearing what you want to hear so you can persuade me to what you want me to do.” If one leader says something you think about it. If two leaders say the same thing you pray about it. If all your leaders say the same thing it is probably God trying to get your attention. So, with the encouragement from my mentor, I took a test from Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the results said, “You don’t listen. When you do listen you are only hearing what you want to hear so you can persuade me to what you want me to do.” Dang it. So, after all this I am getting in my car after a great workout and clear as day I hear the Lord say, “I made you sick.” I respond with, “why would you do that to me?”  To which, as clear as if I was before the Lord, He said, “It was the only way you would listen to me.”  Then there were tears. a lot of tears.

I don’t know how you feel about God speaking out loud. I don’t know if you have ever heard Him speak to you. Maybe you think I am crazy. I’m okay with that. Maybe you think God making me sick is ridiculous and I would say that, until this happened, I probably would have agreed with you. I am not saying sickness is from God. I am not saying this happens to everyone. I don’t know how often God works this way. There is also a danger that we would be gripped by fear and begin to believe that anything bad that happens to us is from God. It’s not. Fear is not from God. Here is what I know, I wasn’t listening. To think that I would try to persuade God, to what I want Him to do rather than listen for what He wants me to do, makes me sad. I want to listen better. To God, to my leaders. Of course the danger of being this transparent is that people have the tendency to look back and say “you weren’t listening to me either.” Or in conversation people pull out this blog and say “you are doing this to me, right now.” I get all that. I also believe that God wants to our experiences to encourage someone who may be going through the same kind of thing. 

It’s interesting because in the beginning of January of this year I started taking my health seriously. I starting going to the gym four times a week and I am eating better than I had before. Aside from the time I was recovering from being sick I have maintained these lifestyle changes all year.  I have changed a lot of things in my life because of this encounter with God. Reflecting back on this whole experience I realize this was a test from the Lord. When we talk about God testing Abraham in Genesis we recognize that He wasn’t testing Abraham to see what he would do. God knows. The test is for us. Honestly, it was faith building, even in serious pain I gave God glory and didn’t blame him for my pain. I worshipped Him and knew He was with me and was aware enough to hear is voice in my pain and recovery. Not just hear, either, but respond. Please don’t believe I am some kind of spiritual super star. That would miss my whole point in writing about this experience. It’s about how awesome God is not about me. 

You might say, “If God loves you why would He hurt you?” This is an important question. The writer of the book of Hebrews gives a great answer:

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:7-11).

It is because God loves me so much that He would take such drastic measures to speak to me. I am quite confident that, for many years to come, 2015 will be a year for me to reflect back on knowing that God refuses to leave me. My passion in life is helping others know that no matter what you do, no matter how far you run from the God who created you, no matter if you claim to not believe in Him at all—that same God will never leave you. He waits, patiently. He inserts Himself into your story and uses the events of your life, good and bad, to point you back to Him.

So, are you listening even in your pain? Can you hear His voice? What is God saying to you in the midst of pain?

sacrifice + blood + Yeshua = Awesome

In this past weeks Torah Portion (sh'mini; Leviticus 9:1 - 11:47) we continued reading about the Levitical system of priests and sacrifices. At the beginning of this portion we read about the very first High Priest (Aaron) making the very first sacrifice for the very first time in the history of Israel.

In Exodus we read about the instructions of the tabernacle and where everything is placed, the utensils, the altar, the incense, the clothing of the priests, the lineage of the priests, the show bread, the menorah, the curtain, the outer court, the inner court, the holy place, the holy of holies, the presence of God. Finally, here, we begin to see all of this in action.

Lev 9:1-2 says, "On the eighth day, Moshe called Aharon, his sons and the leaders of Isra'el, and said to Aharon, 'Take a male calf for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering, both without defect, and offer them before ADONAI.'" In verse 6, "Moshe said, 'This is what ADONAI has ordered you to do, so that the glory of ADONAI will appear to you.'"

and then the very first High Priest makes the very first sacrifice for the very first time. Verse 8 says, "So Aharon approached the altar and slaughtered the calf of the sin offering which was for himself."

For himself.
Then verse 15 says, "Then the people's offering was presented. He took the goat of the sin offering which was for the people, slaughtered it and offered it for sin, like the earlier sin offering."

For himself then for the people.
Thats the way the levitical system works. The High Priest makes a sacrifice for himself for his own sins and then makes sacrifices for the people only after his sins have been forgiven. It would be a game changer if the High Priest didn't have to sacrifice for himself. And what if we only needed one high priest? The book of Hebrews talks about this.

Hebrews 7:22-27 says:
Also this shows how much better is the covenant of which Yeshua has become guarantor. Moreover, the present cohanim (priests) are many in number, because they are prevented by death from continuing in office. But because he lives forever, his position as cohen (priest)does not pass on to someone else; and consequently, he is totally able to deliver those who approach God through him; since he is alive forever and thus forever able to intercede on their behalf. This is the kind of cohen gadol that meets our need - holy, without evil, without stain, set apart from sinners and raised higher than the heavens; one who does not have the daily necessity, like the other cohanim g'dolim (high priests), of offering up sacrifices first for their own sins and only then for those of the people; because he offered one sacrifice, once and for all, by offering up himself.

Wow! Yeshua is such a better deal! But how in the world could Yeshua be the High Priest? He is not a descedant of Aaron. He is not even from the tribe of Levi?! The writer of Hebrews deals with this also. Messiah Yeshua is different. He is apart of a priesthood that came before the levitical system.

Hebrews 7:13-16 says:
The one about whom these things are said belongs to another tribe, from which no one has ever served at the altar; for everyone knows that our Lord arose out of Y'hudah, and that Moshe said nothing about this tribe when he spoke about cohanim. It becomes even clearer if a "different kind of cohen," one like Malki-Tzedek (Melchizedek), arises, one who became a cohen not by virtue of a rule in the Torah concerning physical descent, but by virtue of the power of an indestructible life.

Yeshua is a priest in the order of Malki-Tzedek.
We don't know much about Malki-Tzedek.
We know that in the book of Genesis he appears to Abraham. We know that Abraham tithes to him (gives him ten percent of his money). And really thats it. No mother, no father, no history. We don't know any of it. But, he is important enough that Avraham Avinu (Father Abraham) tithes to him. It is possible that "Malki-Tzedek" is a title meaning in Hebrew, "King of Righteousness." In Genesis 14:8 he is refered to as "cohen of El Elyon" (priest of God Most High). A priest but not one in the levitical system. In fact a priest in an order that predates the whole levitical system.

So many preachers and theologians teach that the leviticals system has been done away with because of the sacrifice of Yeshua. The book of Hebrews is often used to make this point. But the writer of Hebrews is not making the point that leviticus is done away with, he is making the point that there is a better system.
The real system.
The system in heaven.
The system that leviticus is a shadow of.

Hebrews 8:1-6 says,
Here is the whole point of what we have been saying: we do have just such a cohen gadol as has been described. And he does sit at the right hand of HaG'dulah in heaven. There he serves in the Holy Place, that is, in the true Tent of Meeting, the one erected not by human beings but by ADONAI. For every cohen gadol is appointed to offer both gifts and sacrifices; so this cohen gadol too has to have something he can offer. Now if he were on earth, he wouldn't be a cohen at all, since there already are cohanim offering the gifts required by the Torah. But what they are serving is only a copy and shadow of the heavenly original; for when Moshe was about to erect the Tent, God warned him, "See to it that you make everything according to the pattern you were shown on the mountain." But now the work Yeshua has been given to do is far superior to theirs, just as the covenant he mediates is better.

Better is a strong word. What makes Yeshua better is not that the old is irrelevant. What makes Yeshua better is that He is all three parts of the levitical sacrificial system in one person. Yeshua is the sacrifice. Yeshua is the High Priest making the sacrifice. Yeshua is the God receiving the sacrifice.

Wow! that is better!

The sacrificial system was never meant as an end all. It was important to "see to it that you make everything according to the patter you where shown on the mountain." Why? because what matters is what is really happening in heaven. The levitical system was given to us so we could have some understanding of the real thing.

Hebrews 9:11-14 says,
But when the Messiah appeared as cohen gadol of the good things that are happening already, then, through the greater and more perfect Tent which is not man-made (that is, it is not of this created world), he entered the Holiest Place once and for all. And he entered not by means of the blood of goats and calves, but by means of his own blood, thus setting people free forever. For if sprinkling ceremonially unclean persons with the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer restores their outward purity; then how much more the blood of the Messiah, who, through the eternal Spirit, offered himself to God as a sacrifice without blemish, will purify our conscience from works that lead to death, so that we can serve the living God!

So, Yeshua is better because He is the real thing. After Yeshua was put death He rose from the dead. After He rose from the dead he appeared for 40 days (during the counting of the omer) resurrected. Then on the 40th day He ascended into heaven and took His place at the right hand of the father. His sacrifice is more effective because we only needed it once. One sacrifice to forgive all sin. Not only that but, his blood still flows. Since Yeshua is alive, and we believe that his resurrection was "bodily" (meaning He is still in his body), His blood will never stop flowing. The blood of bulls and goats ran out. Each sacrifice only covered one sin because the blood dried up. When you cut an animals jugular the blood stops flowing. Since Yeshua is forever alive His blood will always flow and since His blood will always flow it can cover all sin. past, present, future! The sacrifice was a one time deal but the blood flows forever! Wow! That is better!

In Revelation John sees the lamb who was slain. Revelation 5:6 says, "Then I saw standing there with the throne and the four living beings, in the circle of the elders, a Lamb that appeared to have been slaughtered." Verse 9 continues, "and they sang a new song, 'You are worthy to take the scroll and break its seals; because you were slaughtered; at the cost of blood you ransomed for God persons from every tribe, language, people and nation.'" Verse 12 says "and they shouted out, 'Worthy is the slaughtered Lamb to receive power, riches, wisdom, strength, honor, glory and praise!'" and verse 14 says, "And I heard every creature in heaven, on earth, under the earth and on the sea- yes, everything in them- saying, 'To the One sitting on the throne and to the Lamb belong praise, honor, glory and power forever and ever!'"

John continues in his vision in Revelation 7:9-10, "After this, I looked; and there before me was a huge crowd, too large for anyone to count, from every nation, tribe, people and language. They were standing in front of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palm branches in their hands; and they shouted, 'Victory to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!'"

Verses 13-15 say, "One of the elders asked me, 'These people dressed in white robes - who are they, and where are they from?' 'Sir', I answered, 'you know.' Then he told me, 'These are the people who have come out of the Great Persecution. They have washed their robes and made them white with the blood of the Lamb. That is why they are before God's throne. Day and night they serve him in his Temple; and the One who sits on the throne will put his Sh'khinah (Glory) upon them.'"

Will put His glory on them.
The same thing happened after the very first sacrifice in Leviticus 9:23-24, "Moshe and Aharon entered the tent of meeting, came out and blessed the people. Then the glory of ADONAI appeared to all the people! Fire came forth from the presence of ADONAI, consuming the burnt offering and the fat on the altar. When all the people saw it, they shouted and fell on their faces."

Back to Hebrews, this time 10:19-23,
So, brothers, we have confidence to use the way into the Holiest Place opened by the blood of Yeshua. He inaugurated it for us as a new and living way through the parokhet (Curtain), by means of his flesh. We also have a great cohen over God's household. Therefore, let us approach the Holiest Place with a sincere heart, in the full assurance that comes from trusting-with our hearts sprinkled clean from a bad conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us continue holding fast to the hope we acknowledge, without wavering; for the One who made the promise is trustworthy.

The door is open.
The sacrifice has been made.

But, how many times do we see the open door and choose not to walk through it. We can be people who live in the presense of God. At work, at school, in our house, at the store. When the hard stuff of life gets in our way. When people attack and pain comes. When hurt is real. THE DOOR IS OPEN. The way has been made! You can go into the very presence of God and stay there and lay yourself out before the creator of universe and bask in His glory.

Its free.
Its real.
It is ours.

And we can go in any time we want because the blood of our Messiah opened it up to us.
The sacrifice, The High Priest, and God.
all in the same person.
Yeshua our Messiah.
The door is open walk through it!